Such a starking contrast

I was flipping through my old youth pastor's xanga site and then there was a link to his wife which I clicked on. I don't know her at all but I suppose lurking on her xanga was my first step in getting to know her somewhat.

I discovered first of all that she is my age. That surprised me because I have always thought she was younger than me. So having now discovered that we are after all the same age made me think about how else we are alike and we are different.

Well for one thing, she is married, and to a pastor to boot. That fact gurantees one thing: her life will always be at the hubbub of a community, surrounded by many many people, friends and family, members of the congregation. In a way, it is like being a mini-celebrity, is it not? As the pastor and the pastor's wife, you're going to be closely and intimately interconnected to such a vast social network - I suspect the word loneliness is a near extinct concept in their lives. I am not so naive as to think mere people, mere warm bodies hovering over you all the time is enough to ensure lack of loneliness. However, with their faith in Christ, and their daily lives surrounded in this conglomerate of two legged creatures, I think it is a strong enough defensehold.

Wow, how different we are, and yet how not different. I think I have generally admitted very graciously that I am not Miss Congeniality and as likely will never win a popularity contest in my lifetime. Something in my genes has hardwired me to be more or less an aloof creature, content to go to and fro about my own little life, minding my own little affairs. Sure, I have a close knit set of friends, but the number doesn't go past 5, truth be told. =)

How under the radar I am. Not so many eyes on me. I realize this when I read her xanga. She wrote some one little liner, completely and utterly meaningless perhaps on to themselves. Yet she had 50,000 comments to trail its wake, testifying to the large and ever expanding circle of eager friends and family, people wanting to get closer, to show that they too are part of that circle. Wowo...that must be an interesting way to live life and I'm sure people less grounded in their faith in God and humility woould very likely be spoiled by being at the constant spotlight of attention.

But really, I deviate from my original intention in mentioning this. It is not my intent to judge or to criticize in the least. I am just reflecting on how two Asian-American girls raised in the same middle-class, religious background, at the same age, can now be leading such wholly different lives. She is in a completely different life stage than me, if you will. Since I am still puttering around in singleland, free and easy to do what I please for the most part, and living a very sheltered, private life. Even when I do marry one day, I am pretty certain it's not gonna be a pastor =P and thus, I will probably be living a very low-key existence, punctuated by small delights and pleasures, known only to me, reveled only by me, seen only in my mind's eye. 'Tis good, 'tis all good.