to a certain someone whom I tortured last night mercilessly while I spiralled into one of my existential crises and left him helplessly strangulated, choked on the gloom and doom that I expelled like car exhaust.
Sometimes you have to hit a low point, realize what this is all about and then slowly make your ascent once more.
I've said this before but I don't mind reiterating again. The truth is, everyday we have a choice. We can choose to mope and sulk and feel sorry for ourselves for problems, real or imagined, flaws, lacks, etc. We can also choose to focus on the positive. Which would be the better alternative? You don't have to be wicked smart to figure that one out...
Sometimes you have to let the darkness embrace you before you can appreciate the light again.
Actually, recently, I made an agreement with a friend that we will both try to think of one thing that we are thankful everyday. It's important to count our blessings. I think it's a good first step towards greater peace and fortitude and appreciation.
I guess part of what triggered the episode of this "acute glumness" is because I had a talk with my premed advisor at Penn. She made it pretty clear to me that it's still an uphill battle for me this year. It's not going to be easy and I can't expect everyone to welcome me to their school with open arms. Which is also to say that I should probably apply to more schools than I already have, to be on the safe side... Still, her last words to me were nonetheless, "stay focused, stay positive." After all, what else can I do?
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