My clubbing experience

Friday night I was a woman on a mission. I was determined to go clubbing and I wanted to have fun, let the party animal loose. I went with my friend to the Chelsea area, dressed as sexily as my Victorian sense of decorum would let me (I pushed my limit so to speak) and hit up the supposedly hottest club in town: crobar.

Let me just tell you – our first attempt to get in was downright pathetic. The line for entry snaked down the entire length of the avenue. Being fussy girls that we were, my friend and I didn’t feel like waiting in line for 2 hours. So instead, we just marched right up to the bouncers and whipped out our IDs. At one point, some Asian girl came out and got a friend to go in. We followed eagerly, rationalizing that all Asians look the same to others. But the bouncer was a crafty one and told us with a stern look that we needed to get our skinny butts in the line.

So dejectedly, my friend and I went to the club on the next block over. There, we were able to go right in, because they needed more people, apparently. The guy looked at our IDs and just motioned us in. Once in, we settled on one of the couches and had some drinks. Just then, a very buxom blondie, showing her lovelies to full advantage, sat down next to us and began talking. We started chatting with her too. She had the whole, long blond tousled hair, big blue beautiful eyes and pouty lips going. She was straight out of Hollywood. We were just chatting when she mentioned that she had to meet her friends at Crobar. My ears perked up. We then told her this wasn’t Crobar. Her eyes must have magnified 100X, and she let out a loud shriek and goes, you’re kidding me!!! My friend must be so pissed at me. Blah blah blah, she went on a tirade that I barely paid attention to, I was just thinking, Hey! She can maybe take us in. So I told her, “Well, I’ll show you where Crobar is, but can my friend and I go in with you?” She was still a bit too flabbergasted by the idea that she wasn’t actually in the right club. But she nodded and we took off.

Once in the streets, she began her directing (the art of looking hot). She told me and my friend to take off our grandmotherly cardigans and show some flesh. She’s like, you understand how it works, right honey? We nodded dumbly, uh…sure. Then, she told my friend to stand on her other side, so that us too decidedly less hot asian girls flank the roaring hot blondie. It was an interesting setup, but I can see why. It puts the attention on her and she knows she has what it takes.

When we got to the bouncers, she began affecting the dumb blond act. She acts confused and says to one of the bouncers, “What is this place? Is this Crobar?” even though the letters CROBAR is flashing in big bold beautiful neon letters right over the impossible to breach doors. She even had on this southern accent. The bouncers snickered, started eyeing her chest in a less than subtle manner and goes, You’re a long way from Texas, Sweetie. I can’t really do justice to the way she acted with mere description. But she definitely was amazing. In the next ten minutes, she bantered with the guys like today was her last day on earth. She screamed, she laughed, she told them they were hot, she bounced her boobs while she giggled, she did all this while carrying on a conversation with a female friend on her phone. The bouncers even got disoriented after awhile and seemed tired of her shenanigans. They began to stop flirting, laughing, bantering, and started telling her to leave. A few minutes more, and we probably would have been kicked to the curb. The whole time, my friend and I, needless to say, stood by, helplessly flatchested and unable to add to the sex appeal for the trio and collectively wow the bouncers off their smelly socks. Dubiously, one of the bouncers says, these girls with you? To her credit, she puts her arms around us and go, yeah, we’re all in together. She even gave us fake names, She’s like this is Claudia and veronica. I had to laugh. It also began to rain. So I put in my two cents worth. I started pouting as prettily as I know how to the bouncer and goes, we’re going to get drenched, let us in already!

Finally, finally, it may have been no more than five minutes but it felt like eternity, the bouncer, this formidable bald man, nodded imperceptibly and motions us to another guy guarding the door and goes, they’re okay, let them in. I was quite amazed. It seemed like getting into this place on a Friday night after barely five minutes and not being on the guest list is harder to scaling the forbidden palace. But blondie has done the seeming impossible.

We entered the hallowed place of Crobar and boy, there were definitely more adventures there. Suffice to say that I got a few more drinks and was sufficiently inebriated to fully and absolutely enjoy myself. Once inside, I danced my heart out, watched Blondie do a few more tricks to score drinks and other freebies and had a truly rocking time. I can see why it’s billed as one of the coolest places in town too. The place has a very sophisticated décor. Met some European guys, some Indian guys, some Asian guys. Most of them were unattractive, but some were okay. But all in all, to cut a long story short, my mission was accomplished. The end!

Idiote to the first degree

I can not believe how incredibly doltish I was today. I had to develop a film that was inside a canvas, stored at -80 degrees celcius. I take it into the dark room and first, let me first point out that the dark room was not dark. That should have been a big frickin' clue right there. But genius barbie here hums to herself and proceeds to open up the canvas to develop the film. As soon as I flipped open the canvas and saw the yellow film, my mind screamed NOOOOOO. then my mouth screamed, SHIT SHIT! You see, the dark room should be lit with at most a very dull safe red light. That kind of light does not allow the human eye to see much color. Normal white light and the undeveloped film - they are mortal enemies, one must decimate the other, because they can not be allowed to come in contact. therefore, by the time my eyes registered the light bouncing off the film and then is processed by my optical nerve to my brain in which the area that says "yellow" is then activated in my brain, the film is essentially worthless. Apparently speed of thought can not surpass speed of light, either.

DAMNIT. Now I can not see the results of my labor for the past four days. I have to put in a fresh film and then let it sit in the canvas for who knows how long. Oh well it could be worse. I am just an idiot. The other thing was, while putting a fresh film into the extreeeemely cold canvas, I think I gave myself a freezer burn. poor thumb.

in other news, today because i was on the brink of near starvation, I was inspired to compose a small ode to my, well, my breakfast.

You gave me strength when I was weak
You nourished me at my lowest glucose hour
Your crispy golden crunchiness soothes my soul
You know I will always heart you
My Burger King tater tots

This is what lack of sleep plus malnutrition can do to your brain. Be forewarned!

OH MY GOD

In case my definition of SADISTIC schools was previously unclear, maybe this will help clarify matters. For this ONE school, I have to write how many essays? Let's count them shall we????

1. Cite two examples of working with people which highlight your leadership skills and problem solving ability.

2. Please describe 1-2 experiences you have had working with individuals from diverse backgrounds and what you have gained from these experiences.

3. State one major problem you encountered during the past 3 to 5 years and explain how you resolved it.

4. Describe the path you took to prepare, both academically and personally, for a career in medicine.

5. List other careers you considered or enter "NONE":

6. Does your academic record show a time gap or reflect a non-traditional calendar?

7. List interests (outside of academics) in order of importance to you, with a. being the most important:

8. Do you have skills/accomplishments/honors in any of the following areas

9. Please indicate your planned activities between July 2006 and September 2007

Someone take this noose, put it around my neck and pull really really hard. Don't stop until you hear a definitive crack. Because then, then...aaah...peace and quiet and freedom from pain.

the latest hottest thing

Striptease funerals.

Yeah you read that correctly. In China (of all places!) families of the dearly departed sometimes would do just about anything to attract attendees to the funeral, including, but I'm sure not limited to, hiring strippers.

News article

It just goes to show you, don't think you understand the Chinese people just because you eat rice and can use a pair of chopsticks.

yet another beautiful day in E-land

I found my two lost CD's! Ah the joys of recovering a lost posession. I found my James Blunt "Back to Bedlam" CD and also my Rob Thomas CD. Oh, I think I have your Billy Joel CD, Jason. I don't know how it got into my collection. No Black Eyed Peas though, sorry.

So on my way to work, I listened happily to the crooning of Blunt in Beautiful, Goodbye my Lover, and Tears and Rain. Those three are my favorite songs. Question: in the Goodbye my Lover song, do you think the couple has broken up or that one person died?

Outside my window, a tree is shedding like crazy, dropping white pellets of seed? I keep thinking it's snowing and it makes me look again and again. If the tree were the annoying Janitor in Scrubs, it'd probably smirk and go, "made you look! made you look!"

Last night's Scrubs offers some interesting lessons on life. First, you have to follow the rules, sometimes the rules are there for a reason. It's all well and good to bend the rules once in a while, but don't let the old boys' club spirit carry you too far, everyone bending the rules for everyone else, just for the sake of friendship. Secondly, there is absolutely no point in abstaining from sex until marriage, as Turk and Carla demonstrated. Thirdly, the weirdo lawyer in Scrubs finally gets some. And he made a dying woman very happy. That's pretty darn meaningful for a rumble in the sack.

Damn, I looked again.

Last night I stayed at work until 10 PM. I used to be one of those people who jettisons out of work at 6 sharp, eager to get home and get comfy. But I am also now discovering another, more subtle joy. The joy of gettings things done! I think I could get used to this.

If only

scientists develop a way to use restriction endonuclease enzymes to excise the asshole (and by that, I don't mean the sphincter hole) gene in people. the world will be a better place. >=(

it's another beautiful day in emily land

Things to look forward to:

1. Finishing up all my secondaries
2. Watch more Scrubs - keep it coming, can't get enough of Cox
3. Dancin' and indulging in general debauchery on Friday night with Olivia and Viola
4. See my old college friend tie the knot Saturday - and of course, getting all dolled up for the special event, who doesn't have fun getting dressy?
5. Seeing and hanging out with my friends in NYC
6. Torturing Jason with my singing on Saturday night
7. Sales tax free tomorrow for clothing - to buy or not to buy, well that's really just a rhetorical question.

essay number 1342821113

Describe a personal experience which resulted in a substantial moral or ethical dilemma. What was the outcome? We are reluctant to accept assertions that you have never encountered such a situation. Please do not address cheating in an academic setting.


Dear Admissions Committee,

This will truly be a difficult essay to respond to. What do you do when a person's moral compass is skewed? More and more, I feel as though the line between what is right and what is wrong is blurred for me. Things that seem so wrong before, I no longer think it's wrong. Things that seem so right before, I no longer revere/honor/obey. I can honestly say that I can not think of a single SUBSTANTIAL moral or ethical dilemma that I have faced in recent years. They would be considered a dilemma or a predicament only if there is a moral struggle. if not, wherein lies the dilemma? wherein lies the hair pulling, the gnawing of teeth, the sleepless nights used to ponder how to dig oneself out of this hellhole?

Nah...I sleep quite well at night, every night....the only thing that's keeping me up now is pondering how best to answer this retarded question.

Sincerely,
M

Staying on top of things

Emily's absentmindedness strikes again! =( I was scheduled to have a telephone consult with a med school dean today OR SO I THOUGHT. When I called in promptly at 9:30, I was tartly informed that Dr. Dean only has telephone consults ON thursdays. Honestly though, the fault is still unclear. I really could HAVE sworn that the person told me to call today, August 18. But NOOOOO, of course being the sycophantic applicant that I am, I had to go, oh I'm sorry, it MUST be my mistake. If I show these people the slightest bit of attitude, I think I might as well kiss my chances at that school goodbye.

Which brings me to being still at home now, almost 10 AM. It's such a luxury. I don't want to go to work today. Oh well, I guess at some point, I'll drag my sorry butt back to work.

Actually lately I've been pretty good about doing my secondaries. I have on average gotten one done everyday. I don't know if I can keep this rate up, especially for the sadistic schools that ask for six or more essays. Anyhoo, my tentative goal is to have everything done by the first week of Sept.

Next weekend I get to go to NYC. I'll chill out with my buddy Wendy and see my ex-roommate get married and boogie down Friday night at a club with Olivia (maybe, hopefully, i need to let loose and have some fun). It should be a rocking good time.

Warblings and sproutings

Watching Scrubs has truly been a very enjoyable experience. I wish I could always be as funny as Dr. Cox, thinking of one million and one ways of insulting people. I also really admire his smirky ex-wife, who has a wit and a sharp tongue to hold her own against the great Coxster.

Last night watched two more episodes, one of which featured Turk having sex dreams of Elliot as a dolled up, bimbofied nurse. She was pretty hot in that getup. I was surprised about how good she looked. Maybe I’m becoming whitewashed too, that I would find a calendar pinup look much to my tastes. Or maybe I just like the idea of Turk and Elliot as a couple, it’s a good twist, although it never took off for real.

That of course brings me to the subject of fantasies. I am probably, by my own humble estimation, the queen of fantasies. I don’t do it as obviously as J.D., with his chin uplifted to the side, as he ponders to the upper right or left hand corner of his eyeballs. But trust you me, sometimes even when I’m engaged in conversation with another person, I’m not 100% there. That’s why sometimes when the person stops talking, awkward silences can ensue as I try to remember what was being said exactly.

Hum…currently reading Mountains beyond Mountains. Almost done. So good I may read it again. I am reading it because I want to learn from it. I don’t want to just read it and then forget it. So I might set a new precedent in my life by promptly re-reading it a second time. This is a good way to remember things.

At lunch today, one person was betting another person on the exact physiological anatomy of the corn plant. One person maintains that each stalk only has one cob. Another person insisted that the stalks can sprout four or five cobs at least. I very unhelpfully mentioned that in my life, I have only driven by fields of corn, but never actually been among them, let alone harvested corn. These two people got so into their bet, one person offered to relinquish his car if he were proven wrong. Whoa there Bessie, no need to be so impulsive is there?

my China

I've been contemplating recently about what being Chinese meant to me. I realize that there are both negative and positive associations that I have when thinking about my culture. There are of course things I identify with and things I keep at a mental arm's length.

Negative aspects of what being Chinese mean. Propagandistic cartoons from post 1950's when red, rosy-cheeked girls and valiant, stocky guys raise their clenched fists in the air and clutch their little red book of Mao sayings while the headlines cry: Long live new China! Long live the revolution! Ugh. Tacky to the extreme. Other negative associations: bad teeth, poor fashion sense (my hope is that one day the Chinese will be seen as trendy cool people like the French or the Japanese or the Italians), Bruce Lee and his warblings, Chinese school, taiwanese politicians fighting each other and embarassing themselves, Chinese middle aged men - I don't know many attractive ones, maybe Andy Lau and Tony Leung are the two exceptions, or little asian punks who want to be ghetto (just silly), plastic bags, sallow complexion, jaundice, slanty eyes, being cheap, bad Chinese food, fortune cookies, dumb Confucius says sayings, being perceived as sneaky, enigmatic, scratching oneself, spitting in public, wife beaters (the shirt), rickshaws, bad toilet conditions, greasy stringy hair

Positive associations: lyrical grace of martial arts, the ribbon dances from Tang dynasty, calligraphy with a large sweeping brush, elegiac weeping willows set among the mountains in a Chinese painting, Andy Law crooning his undying love, Chicken soup, pandas, pretty stationary from Taiwan, night markets, asian snacks, dumplings, pan fried onion chong you bing, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Steve Chow, bowl and chopsticks, slender twiggy girls, straight jet black hair on asian school girls, school uniforms, books with cute typography, pictures of formosa, history of China, being passionate, being nationalistic, full of ideology, Sun Zi Bing Fa, Dream of the Red Chamber, poetry, noodles, silk embroidered cheongsams, In the Mood for Love.

I know this all seems rather random and quixotic. I went to a History of Medicine lecture today and was treated to an hour of posters produced in China regarding public health. One poster showed a man squatting over a hole in the ground, simultaneously vomitting and diarrheaing. Yeah, gross. It's a poster information on Cholera. It got me thinking of the power of images and the associations that come with the images. I realize too that when I think of the word Chinese, my mind, in a matter of nanoseconds, processes several hundred different images and associations, some of which I mentioend abvoe. But rest assured folks, these are just the tip of the iceberg. I have had 27 years to cultivate these mental associations after all.

further proof that i date a nerd

Conversation via email between Emily and Jason.

J - I went to the casinos on Friday. I watched Derek play craps. And I lost $100... :-(

E - the more you go to the casinos, the more money you will ultimately lose.

J - I could have walked away with money. But the idiots at my table didn't know what the hell they were doing. I don't like N00bs.

E - don't blame other people for your own greed...  =P

J - Hey, me winning = more goodies for Emily.

E - fine.  jason losings = no goodies for emily either.

J - No, Jason losing = less goodies for Jason. The amount of Emily's goodies is only a function of Jason's winnings.
Emily's goodies = K + X*C

X = amount of Jason's winnings
C = percentage of winnings that goes to Emily
K = constant goodies Emily receive from Jason

Guess the song

I say, No no no no no no
and I say No no no no no no
You're not the one for me

special mention of scrubs episode

it's titled "His Story" and I really enjoyed it.

First, it's told through Dr. Cox's pov for once and gave us all a break from J.D. lovable dork that he is. It's downright hilarious at some moments, when you have the luxury of being Dr. Cox and seeing the world through his eyes.

Second, there's the story of Turk and Carla which has become really sweet. They are the real genuine article, the pair of them. I liked Carla's epiphany about commitment phobia and I sometimes wonder if they don't describe me as well. Hint: You might want to go watch this episode to understand me a bit better, imfu.

Third, it's genuinely sweet though, at the end of the episode, when Turk faces a possible new temptation but very quickly realizes what he truly wants. It's somewhat idealistic, somewhat romantic. Most guys don't have such a tour de clarity when it comes to relationships. Hell, most girls probably don't either.

I apologize

to a certain someone whom I tortured last night mercilessly while I spiralled into one of my existential crises and left him helplessly strangulated, choked on the gloom and doom that I expelled like car exhaust.

Sometimes you have to hit a low point, realize what this is all about and then slowly make your ascent once more.

I've said this before but I don't mind reiterating again. The truth is, everyday we have a choice. We can choose to mope and sulk and feel sorry for ourselves for problems, real or imagined, flaws, lacks, etc. We can also choose to focus on the positive. Which would be the better alternative? You don't have to be wicked smart to figure that one out...

Sometimes you have to let the darkness embrace you before you can appreciate the light again.

Actually, recently, I made an agreement with a friend that we will both try to think of one thing that we are thankful everyday. It's important to count our blessings. I think it's a good first step towards greater peace and fortitude and appreciation.

I guess part of what triggered the episode of this "acute glumness" is because I had a talk with my premed advisor at Penn. She made it pretty clear to me that it's still an uphill battle for me this year. It's not going to be easy and I can't expect everyone to welcome me to their school with open arms. Which is also to say that I should probably apply to more schools than I already have, to be on the safe side... Still, her last words to me were nonetheless, "stay focused, stay positive." After all, what else can I do?

Frances and Jason's Visit to DC

This past weekend Jason came to visit, also bringing Frances. It was good to see Frances again, after a long hiatus. She’s always interesting to talk to and she likes to ask thoughtful, occasionally jarring questions. At least talking with her makes me think harder about stuff. Jason…well Jason was just being Jason. At one point, he became a duck and started quacking nonstop at the lunch table because he saw it on Scrubs. We watched a lot of Scrubs this past weekend. It was a Scrubs themed weekend.

Highlights of the trip – going rock climbing AGAIN at Galyans/Dick’s. The guy who worked there that time looked like Scott Bailey Wolf, cute boy. A bit young for me though. I tried the next hardest route after the beginner one. I couldn’t make it to the very top. Frances is so athletic. She breezed through the same course. Jason wasn’t able to make it to the very top either. So essentially Frances kicked both our butts.

Another highlight was playing tennis after they left. I am starting lessons with a friend of my parents’. He’s very good. He has given me some good pointers. He told me that I have some power in my swings, but I need to work on control and consistency. Also, I tend to run away from the ball and thus making it difficult for me to hit the ball at the “sweet spot”. Tennis is starting to grow on me. I really enjoy and respect the sport. I guess I have my sweetie to thank for introducing the sport to me in the first place.

Oh yeah, we went to see Miami Vice Friday night. Wow, sexy Gong Li really heated up the screen with a retro-werewolfy Colin Farrell. Gong Li is probably pushing 40 at least, but she has aged really well. Aside from the love interest and some gruesome scenes of violence, the movie was only decent. Both Frances and I liked it for the hotness of the male lead more than anything else.

Morning musings et al.

Today while driving to work, I was listening to the song "Heal the world" by Michael Jackson. As I was singing joyfully to the lyrics, "Heal the world....make it a better place....for you and for me and the entire human race...." I was also simultaneously hellbent on tailgating the car in front of me so that the jerk in the white car in the next lane can't cut me off again as he had done about 15 seconds ago. I just had to chuckle at the oxymoronic moment.

Last night I went to a great tapas place with two friends. I parked at a 1 hr meter and thought I would remember to come back and drop more quarters. What a dolt I was. Of course the police that happened to be patrolling the area had to be super on top of things that night and hence ended up fining me $35 for an expired meter. Next time, remind me to just park my car in a garage, pay a little extra and not worry about the stupid meter running out? It's such a terrible ripoff.

Dinner was pretty good though. I had dinner with a girl that I had met at the retreat in May. She's an interesting person to talk to. Her background and experiences were all so very different from mine. I had the distinct feeling that even though she's the same age as me, she's way more experienced in life and in her dealings with people. The other thing she really loves to do is to travel. She's a fearless traveler and often go on long trips all by herself. Compared to her, i really feel like the domesticated little cat that never strays too far from home and food and comfort. Haha. My other friend, whom I met through Church, also came out and hung out. She's always very nice and pleasant to hang out with.

Jason and another friend, Frances are coming to town this weekend. I am still racking my brains to figure out how to entertain them. I've already done the kayaking, so I'm not too excited about trying it again. Maybe we will go to DC and do something. Maybe we can play tennis.

My presentation yesterday went well. I was nervous for about 5 seconds. Then I just relaxed. However, my heart kind of sank when one of the scientists asked me a question. I hate not knowing answers.

Addendum to previous post

So it's now 12:16 AM and I'm working on my Wed presentation with powerpoint. The one caveat to this is that I get to play with different features of powerpoint. Can I just gush for a second? I just LOVE love LOVE the animation feature. It is so fun to create a little movie of how the experiment went. I realize that it's no accident that I love films and that I thought seriously of becoming a film director at one point. It's because I love the creative process of making animation. I know this is a dorky thing to admit, but I was really very pleased with making even such a simple, bland office schematic animation. I almost clapped my hands. Okay I did, because I thought it was so nifty. Jason, I know you are probably groaning. What a dorkster of a gf eh?

Oh well, if you know me, it's hard for me to get excited about too many things in life. One would be finding a great bargain while shopping. The other would be making animated shorts. (i'll leave the rest to your imagination, but try not to dwell too long in the gutter)