Cynical sophisticate that I am, when it comes to love, I am still a helpless captive to the undying myth of that eternal, romantic ideal. Here, of course, I am not referring to two people collapsing into a bout of passionate, frenzied love affair. While it may be called a "love" affair, love for the most part has little to do with it.
I reflected recently on what it means to be in love. I really think the usage is incorrect here. It should not be love that is used, rather, infatuation, a lust spell, a temporary insanity.
The truest kind of love there is, is the selfless love. The unconditional love. It's easy to say that God gives us all unconditional love, because, well, He is God, and you don't question God's love. It's a lot harder to search for that type of love among people though. It's alot harder to assume that you can derive such a love from your fellow humans, little people with selfish agendas, myriad conflicting interests, goals and dreams of their own.
I will have to say that I understand unequivocally that on this Earth, the two people that love me most nearest to the unconditional, pure love are my parents. Even then, their love is not entirely unconditional. But the truest test of their love for me is that they will do just about anything for me, perhaps even sacrifice their lives. Hell, they already have.
However I hope I am not a horrible person for admitting that it is not a balanced love. The parents always love the child more than the child could love the parents. I know it is true for me. Perhaps one day when I have children of my own, it would be the same situation. I will love them infinitely, vastly more than they could love me. And so the trend continues down the generation.
A child's love for parents is complicated by the child's equally fierce desire to break free and gain independence and autonomy. It's that desire for separation that comes with maturity that makes it difficult for a child to love the parent as much as the parent loves the child. it's psychology 101.
But enough about parent-child love. let's talk about romantic love. I like to ask people what love means to them. one answer I got was: it's just chemicals in your brain. that's rather more cynical than even I am prepared for. I don't really buy it. But then again, the sad reality is, if you get a lobotomy (half your brain removed say) are you still capable of love? No...I don't think so. You will not be capable of love. So in that sense, love, the feeling of love, the idea of love, the physics of love can not transcend the mere biological, physiological body.
Love is a tricky tricky business. If I get too overly philosophical and meditative, I think I will just end up confusing myself on what love really means. It's really a much simpler task to stick to lust, I must admit.
2 comments:
I've already told you many times what being in love means. Being in love is a lot like being "The One". No one can tell you you're "The One". You just know it, through and through. You know what that sign says? It means, know thy self. Sorry kido, you've got the gift, I'll give you that. But it seems to me like you're waiting for something.
-The Oracle
everyone is waiting for something. one should just stop waiting and start making it up for yourself.
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