Confession

I hate public speaking. That's not to say that I haven't taken steps to conquer my fear of it. I took a speech class in college, senior year. I went to a two day leadership seminar on public speaking back in high school. I had various speech classes in high school too. For some reason though, being in front of all those people, all those pairs of eyes always make me feel like a trapped animal. I start exhibiting all the signs of an animal in distress. I break out into cold sweat. My face flushes heat, and is no doubt flaming red. I can hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I have trouble forming coherent sentences and be my usual articulate self. Worse yet, sometimes I began to speak bad English. I revert back to my five year old self under this severe level of trauma and I guess at 5, I didn't speak English yet. The human mind is indeed a fascinating thing.

The only thing that breaks my fear is when someone asks me a question and interrupts my excessive fear and attention on myself. As soon as my attention is diverted to something else, I immediately began to relax.

So the only reason I'm writing this is because I have to present my lab findings on Wednesday to a roomful of smart brilliant postdocs. It would be a good idea for me to prepare. It would NOT be a good idea for me to wet my pants in front of these future nobel laureates. I better buckle down. =P