Stress

I've been told in the past that I seem to always maintain my cool and calm and that I am not easily perturbed. You know what my secret was? I treated most things in my life as no big deal. If it didn't matter all that much, what was there to sweat?

Lately I'm finding this approach to life pretty dissatisfying. If nothing is a big deal to me, then nothing matters then the sum of all its parts is decidedly insignficant. Extrapolate that to...what? Nothing. There is nothing to extrapolate to.

Now I'm trying to reform my mindset, a paradigm shift. I'm starting to focus on the things I do care about, or at least take the things in my life more seriously. When I say things, I guess I mean, oh...career? Life direction? Relationship? Yeah....those things.

So yeah, I'm also starting to understand stress. You should see me these days. Not a pretty picture. I wake up, I put on my glasses, I shove down some food and I go off to work. I don't bother too much about my appearance, because, well things have to be prioritized. Once I deal with this hurdle in front of me, I'll decompress from this state of high anxiety and hopefully rediscover the joy of living.

Yeah, so I guess it's not fair to say that nothing mattered to me in the past. Whatever else my faults, I was good at enjoying life. =)