Ever the Same

Have this song "Ever the Same" stuck in my head, playing on repeat. The funny thing is, I don't know all the words to the song, only the refrain, but the situation is not without a touch of irony.

Hm...what else? Taking off from work Friday. Wasn't too hard of a decision to make as there is not too much for me to do at work except stress out about the MCAT and yes, I could just stress out while getting paid, but I decided to take the day off and stress out in private. I have visions of me floating serenely in the pool with my ears plugged with water and being surrounded by utter silence. That is a fantasy of mine. Maybe then I can find peace from my anxieties? (No, I don't mean I wish to drown, that sentence may be slightly misconstrued)

I read The Old Man and the Sea by Hemingway last night. Quick read, I finished it in about 1.5 hours. I really liked it. I had to speed read it because I wanted to finish it in one go. There is something about that Old Man and his running dialogue to himself. He goes, "Old Man, you can do this. Don't quit now, " in his eternal struggle with the majestic Giant Marlin in the sea. It's very heroic actually. It reminds me of Bruce Willis in Sin City as he talks to himself saying, "Old Man, don't give up now, keep at it." Maybe that is where they got their inspiration for his character. I know I talk about aging maybe a tad too much. I can't help though feeling that it is especially touching to see an old person, wizened and battered, but still tenacious, still retaining something of his/her former glory and spirit. Clint Eastwood comes to mind too. He just has that touch. My grandfather too...

Oh yeah, the book also made me want to try fishing. Sure, I'm easily influenced by outside ideas. On the other hand, I see no reason why I shouldn't try fishing. Maybe I'll discover a God-given talent for it. I just need to find some fishing master to latch on to and maybe he will teach me how to fish.

More outdoor stuff, that's what I vow to get into this summer. I have to take advantage of every outdoor weather that there is, because I feel a claustrophobic grip on my psyche. I want to get out there and breath some fresh air. Need air, need space, need oxygen. Except, ironically, the pollen count is driving me berserk. Stupid nose, always the bane of my existence.