The cyclic nature of being in a funk

I've been lolling around in a semi-functional funk for some time now. It started a few weeks ago, or maybe it's been this way all my life, sometimes it's difficult to tell when a funk truly ends. However, I will say that a semi-functional funk might be stretching it - wheneven I'm in a lower state of mind, productivity goes down, drive goes down and then self-confidence takes a dive too. It is a cycle that is perpetuated much like the krebs cycle.

The good thing is that I never sunk completely into it. I have learned the "offical" definition of depression in my behavioral science class at school. Part of the definition requires asking, "Have you lost interest in things that you are normally interested in?" Well, let's see - sleep, movies, reading random books, and shopping. No, I'm still very much interested in all that! So I guess while that doesn't make me depressed, it depressingly still qualifies me as a bona fide valley girl. like, ohmygod!

Well in any case, I have these conversations often with my good friend on the West Coast. She has advised me on countless occasions that the only way to stop the spiral towards negativity and wallowing in self-pity is to jump out of the cycle. You can not hope to "beat the system" while inside the system, so the speak. This requires a brute force effort to simply stop, to leap out into the unknown and scary world of "confidence, of productivity, of energy and creativity." Yes, it can be scary and sometimes it's almost comforting to continue cocooned inside a dark, comfortable place.

Yet... not quite comfortable enough.

So I have managed to drag my arse out of the funk for now and I am back on schedule, a medical student whose a priori task is to focus on her studies and become the future brilliant physician decreed in her destiny.

Though, my very wise friend also pointed out, I must make peace with the fact that I will have my relapses. And that is okay, to some extent. The trick is to realize it when it is happening and to extricate oneself as fast as possible. Increase productivity, reduce relapses - I have a feeling these are words to live by.