Restless energy

Is this stress? I can't even recognize stress when I am experiencing it. Perhaps it is indicative of how little stress I've had to endure in my previous lives. Maybe I've had it easy all along. Lately I have found myself a victim of that hitherto unexperienced syndrome (at least by me) and that is called insomnia. I would go to sleep at 12 and then wake up at 3 AM. Like most hapless people whom sleep evades at that ungodly hour, I'd like in bed and wonder whether or not to get up. I would make little promises to myself. "Okay, if I don't fall asleep in 10 minutes, I'm getting up." I had even gotten up at around 3:30 AM in the morning and decided to read the Bible, I figured it would be somewhat sleep-inducing (no offense intended). INstead, I read the book of Job and found to my surprise how interesting it can be. It's a study into one man's agony and suffering and his added anguish in not knowing why, nor did he believe he deserved it. This is an aside, but let me talk about the book of Job. So Job had health, properity and a happy household. In a talk with Satan, God decides to give Job a little test of faith. Overnight, he lost everything he has ever had, including his health. His three friends, good friends that they were, kept declaring that Job must have sinned somewhere along the way as to incur the wrath of God. Job steadfastly declared his innocence and he asks to have an arbitrator between him and God! What a bold statement that is. I admire such confidence. In the end though, God rebukes Job in an indirect way by saying, you can not possibly begin to question me, you speck of a human being. And Job meekly accepts that whatever God wants to do to him is in God's right and Job apologizes for his impudence. At the same time, God admonishes his three friends and told them they were misguided scoundrels as well. I thought in this case that Job's friends meant well, even if they were wrong, they shouldn't be blamed. But then again, I tend to be very lenient on mistakes, as I am a creature prone to making them.

Anyway, what of this restless energy? I don't know, I think I need to channel it better. More focus, more drive, instead it gets permeated into useless activities and then fuel useless parts of my brain. And meanwhile I still have the main course to attend to, but then I get distracted by the trillion gazillion of little things crowing my mind, jabbering nonstop, grabbing at my attention, fragmented as it is. I need peace and quiet!!