I think I'm finally catching on to what progress is all about. A state of change, a flux, a transient state of being. It's also about being at B when you were at A a minute ago. It's about being able to look back at A and seeing the distance that you have travelled. Is this vague enough for you? Let me give you an example.
So last night I was all bells and whistles about making my SCHEDULE. And I was ambitious, to be sure. I wanted to get up at 7 AM and start studying from 8 to 12. A good solid 4 hours of studying sounded like a good idea at the time. But in my excitement last night, I was unable to fall asleep for longer than I had anticipated. That usually is the domino effect for me and as things turned out, I wasn't able to get up early this morning. In fact, I got up 3 hours later than scheduled. I'm a German's worst nightmare come true.
Now, the old me would have been disgusted with myself and mentally slapped myself left and right and then in a fit of passive aggressive anger, I would have let the entire day go to hell after such a late start and a delay in my plans. I think in this way, I had an "extreme" side to my personality and usually detrimental.
The new me was still disappointed in myself for getting up so late, but I shrugged it off and looked at what was left of my schedule to salvage and by 1 PM, I was back on track. So there you go, I have progressed! It's not climbing mt. everest, but hey, I have finally learned the concept that if I fall back a few steps, i can still continue the climb. Sooner or later, I will scale this mountain!!
2 comments:
em...that's very good. i was like a drowning man trying to salvage my afternoon yesterday but did not come to anything. i wasted 7hr in bad mood. unable to lift myself, first time in several wks. but then after my dinner time, the Fed interest rate decrease saved me. this morning i slept till 10:30am. and it's giving me headache!!! can't sleep so long!
Ask your doctor about Loestrine 24!
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