Who knows you best?

Do you know yourself best? Or when you do a little self-analysis, do you spritz on some fragrant lies, some rose-colored lenses, some self-congratulatory pats on the back and soothe, placate, stroke your ego a bit too much? What about other people? Do they know you best? Supposedly they are more objective, no? Not as inclined to see you for more or less than who you are. Or is that not true as well? I think sometimes others carry their own emotional baggages and knowingly or unknowingly judge others under those biases.

I often think with a slight cringe, will someone come along at the end of my life and sum me up in a few cutting sentences or two? Would that person, that omniscient God like critic, the "author" of my life, will that person be able to diminish and reduce me into a character, a neat and tidy package, a category, a type? I'd LIKE to think I'm this interesting, multi-faceted, well rounded and hard to place, hard to pin down type of freewheelin' and dealin' personality. Perhaps that is so far from the truth as what the world perceives me to be, that it's a complete and utter joke? And the truth is that I'm just this mousy sullen and lazy girl who wants life to be handed to her on a silver platter without having to expend the extra energy to acheive lasting glory?

Life is a zero sum game. How come it has taken me such a long time to figure that out? But I digress. I am also on a quest for truth (I want to know if truth is truly relative or absolute, this is a big mystery to me right now, I'll be honest)
In my own life, I can think of half a dozen scenarios where telling the truth per se is not the way to go, no sir. But that's not all I meant. I don't really care about the more petty issue of "telling the truth or telling a lie". That is not my moral burden at this point. What interests me a bit more is, what is the truth about how life is supposed to be lived after all....in other words, are you there God? It's me, Emily.