BF from past = ENTP = Extroverted INtuitive Thinking Perceiving
BF now = ESTJ = Extroverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Me = ISFP = Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
I have exactly ONE thing in common with each of these two molodoy moodges. (hint: watch CwO)
Interesting eh?
For quiz, click me!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
new post, my droogies
Since I'm waiting around to wash some Northerns (this is dork lab speak, you won't understand it if you don't work in a lab) and I thought I might as well write some updates since two days ago, because we all know how utterly riveting my life is.
On Friday, I got up bright and early and did a very altruistic thing (pat on back). I went to the NIH blood bank to donate 500 ml of my blood. I was somewhat nervous, because I didn't know how I would feel after having 10% of my blood drained. However I did make sure to eat a substantial breakfast.
So when I got there at 7:30 AM, I was surprised to see several people there already. I didn't know so many others did this. Anyhoo, they gave me a bunch of questions beforehand, standard questions like, "in the past 6 months, have you had sex with a man who has had sex with another man?" Hm...well, to be honest, how would you know?
After the questions are done, the nurse takes an innocuous looking plastic thing and sticks it on my finger, pricking it. She did something wrong, becuase my finger turned black and blue. it was throbbing actually. But no matter, all in the name of a good cause. Then I went to another room and laid down in a recliner, feet up, back laid down. An elderly man laid next to me. Very soon, vampiric procedures took place and my blood was duly drained. All that was rather uneventful. My blood came out a lot faster than the guy next to me actually. He was there for over 20 minutes at least and the blood was sorta going drip drip drip. But me, hotblooded young thing that I was, I was probably geysering blood. In less than 10 minutes, I was done with my quota and sent off. Oh, this woman came in at some point and she was like, where do I donate blood? The nurses asked if she ate anything and she's like, I never eat breakfast and I don't have the time for it. One of the nurses started doing the arched eyebrow thing that comes on, a signal saying "attittude alert". She snapped at the woman, well, you may not have time for this then, since after you donate blood, you might end up dizzy and passed out for much longer than you would like. All true, but the woman just didn't care. I've never seen such a brusque volunteer. After she was done, she went to the food room and just sat there, amidst all the snacks and delicous juice, on which I was happily slurping down and she just sat there. Not eating a bite. I've never known anyone who had such a disdain for food. Amazing.
In other news, I was able to install a wireless adapter into my dad's new computer without a hitch, i.e., the motherboard didn't decide to turn over and croak as it had with the last computer. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless. Lord knows I need a few more Vs in my life.
On Friday, I got up bright and early and did a very altruistic thing (pat on back). I went to the NIH blood bank to donate 500 ml of my blood. I was somewhat nervous, because I didn't know how I would feel after having 10% of my blood drained. However I did make sure to eat a substantial breakfast.
So when I got there at 7:30 AM, I was surprised to see several people there already. I didn't know so many others did this. Anyhoo, they gave me a bunch of questions beforehand, standard questions like, "in the past 6 months, have you had sex with a man who has had sex with another man?" Hm...well, to be honest, how would you know?
After the questions are done, the nurse takes an innocuous looking plastic thing and sticks it on my finger, pricking it. She did something wrong, becuase my finger turned black and blue. it was throbbing actually. But no matter, all in the name of a good cause. Then I went to another room and laid down in a recliner, feet up, back laid down. An elderly man laid next to me. Very soon, vampiric procedures took place and my blood was duly drained. All that was rather uneventful. My blood came out a lot faster than the guy next to me actually. He was there for over 20 minutes at least and the blood was sorta going drip drip drip. But me, hotblooded young thing that I was, I was probably geysering blood. In less than 10 minutes, I was done with my quota and sent off. Oh, this woman came in at some point and she was like, where do I donate blood? The nurses asked if she ate anything and she's like, I never eat breakfast and I don't have the time for it. One of the nurses started doing the arched eyebrow thing that comes on, a signal saying "attittude alert". She snapped at the woman, well, you may not have time for this then, since after you donate blood, you might end up dizzy and passed out for much longer than you would like. All true, but the woman just didn't care. I've never seen such a brusque volunteer. After she was done, she went to the food room and just sat there, amidst all the snacks and delicous juice, on which I was happily slurping down and she just sat there. Not eating a bite. I've never known anyone who had such a disdain for food. Amazing.
In other news, I was able to install a wireless adapter into my dad's new computer without a hitch, i.e., the motherboard didn't decide to turn over and croak as it had with the last computer. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless. Lord knows I need a few more Vs in my life.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Race
Last night went to Best Buy and Circuit City on the hunt for a new computio. It was a good ol' time looking and salivating at the gleaming new machines. I went around to give different Best Buy guys to ask about various information regarding computers. One guy told me that Intels are better at toggling between smaller programs while AMD Athlons are better at the bigger programs. Good to know. The other guy told me that 1000 K = 1 MB and 1000 MB = 1 GB. Good to know as well (I was just confirming that one, since I did already know it somewhere at the back of my head) Yet another guy was telling me how Emachines are at the low end of Compaqs and Intels are at the high end of HP (or is it the other way around)? Anyway, I should have taken some notes. I realize that sales guys at Best Buy can be a useful resource for information, whether or not you are purchasing. In my spare time, I might just go to these stores, pose as a buyer, ask my 20 questions and gain my knowledge quota for the day. It beats straining my eyes over the internet, trying to pick out the useful information from the not so useful ones.
Then Dad and I went to Circuit City because of the lure of a better machine package. We met a nice lady there too, a bit out of shape, so she was huffing and puffing as she bent down to check prices and other stuff on computers. But she kindly informed me that a 32X processor is much slower than a 64X processor, but of course, a dual processor is better than a single core processor. In the end, we found a computer that we liked at a pretty decent price and walked away with a grand purchase. Happy happy day.
Today was a fun one. We had a company wide relay race, with at least a few hundred people running. I was the second runner. I was so out of it that I didn't even know when the first guy started running. My ever so kind and slightly mocking mentor was like, aren't you next? I think you need to get in line to receive the baton. But OH MY GAWD was it difficult. I'm so out of shape it's pathetic! I started running at a moderately fast pace, thinking smugly to myself that this was just like the treadmills and I was probably doing a 12:00 mile pace. But then I turned the corner and the incline became a good 15 degrees sharper and immediately I start getting stress signals from my heart. My skinny legs began to waver uncertainly and I forced myself forward, pounding the pavement for all I was worth. Then just as I thought my uphill climb was over, I turned another corner and lo ! THe hill got even sharper. My my my. Dimly at the edge of my retreating consciousness I heard someone say, come on, you can do it, it's the hardest part, but you can do it! and i willed myself not to black out, despite my thundering heart about to leap out of my chest cavity and kamikaze onto the concrete.
Then to my relief, the up hill began to level and even slope downhill, but by that time, my legs were mush and jelly and it was all I could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I don't think I was even able to maintain an upright frame, I was sagging sideways, my tongue hanging out no doubt. but the legs kept going. This guy in front of me just gave up and was walking. Lazy rascal, made me lose my resolve too. But just as I was going to halt, I turned another corner and the end was in sight! The slacker in front of me began to run too, because, well, there was now an audience again. And we both began to run harder, I just wanted to finish without passing out or throwing up, that was my goal. I passed by my boss on the sidelines and mustered a big grin to cover my inner agony. by the time I passed another lab coworker, I lost the willpower to raise the corners of my mouth into even a grimace or a grin and to be honest, I couldn't even really comprehend what he was shouting at me. Anyway, I made it to the finish line staggering, tossed the baton into my mentor's hand and promptly found a nice spot of grass to throw myself down on the ground, with my legs and arms stretched out and just...coast. it was utter bliss.
All in all, it was a good race and I had tons of fun killing myself and taking 5 years off my life span. The lactic acid in my thighs, I felt like it was not just making my muscles sore, it was literally dissolving my legs, bones and muscles.
But I had tons of fun and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Then Dad and I went to Circuit City because of the lure of a better machine package. We met a nice lady there too, a bit out of shape, so she was huffing and puffing as she bent down to check prices and other stuff on computers. But she kindly informed me that a 32X processor is much slower than a 64X processor, but of course, a dual processor is better than a single core processor. In the end, we found a computer that we liked at a pretty decent price and walked away with a grand purchase. Happy happy day.
Today was a fun one. We had a company wide relay race, with at least a few hundred people running. I was the second runner. I was so out of it that I didn't even know when the first guy started running. My ever so kind and slightly mocking mentor was like, aren't you next? I think you need to get in line to receive the baton. But OH MY GAWD was it difficult. I'm so out of shape it's pathetic! I started running at a moderately fast pace, thinking smugly to myself that this was just like the treadmills and I was probably doing a 12:00 mile pace. But then I turned the corner and the incline became a good 15 degrees sharper and immediately I start getting stress signals from my heart. My skinny legs began to waver uncertainly and I forced myself forward, pounding the pavement for all I was worth. Then just as I thought my uphill climb was over, I turned another corner and lo ! THe hill got even sharper. My my my. Dimly at the edge of my retreating consciousness I heard someone say, come on, you can do it, it's the hardest part, but you can do it! and i willed myself not to black out, despite my thundering heart about to leap out of my chest cavity and kamikaze onto the concrete.
Then to my relief, the up hill began to level and even slope downhill, but by that time, my legs were mush and jelly and it was all I could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I don't think I was even able to maintain an upright frame, I was sagging sideways, my tongue hanging out no doubt. but the legs kept going. This guy in front of me just gave up and was walking. Lazy rascal, made me lose my resolve too. But just as I was going to halt, I turned another corner and the end was in sight! The slacker in front of me began to run too, because, well, there was now an audience again. And we both began to run harder, I just wanted to finish without passing out or throwing up, that was my goal. I passed by my boss on the sidelines and mustered a big grin to cover my inner agony. by the time I passed another lab coworker, I lost the willpower to raise the corners of my mouth into even a grimace or a grin and to be honest, I couldn't even really comprehend what he was shouting at me. Anyway, I made it to the finish line staggering, tossed the baton into my mentor's hand and promptly found a nice spot of grass to throw myself down on the ground, with my legs and arms stretched out and just...coast. it was utter bliss.
All in all, it was a good race and I had tons of fun killing myself and taking 5 years off my life span. The lactic acid in my thighs, I felt like it was not just making my muscles sore, it was literally dissolving my legs, bones and muscles.
But I had tons of fun and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Waiting Game
Right now as I endure the INTERMINABLE wait for schools to get back to me, it occurred to me that maybe 70% of life is spent waiting. Or perhaps waiting only occurs most to those nondoers, like me, those who tend to sit on their butts and think too much and consequently, wait too much.
What am I waiting for right now? I'm waiting for med schools to accept me. I'm waiting to start med school. I'm waiting to become a doctor. I'm waiting to be a wife and mother. I'm waiting to become an established professional. I'm waiting to travel the four seas and distant lands. I'm waiting to start a clinic in China somewhere.
It stinks to have to wait.
What am I waiting for right now? I'm waiting for med schools to accept me. I'm waiting to start med school. I'm waiting to become a doctor. I'm waiting to be a wife and mother. I'm waiting to become an established professional. I'm waiting to travel the four seas and distant lands. I'm waiting to start a clinic in China somewhere.
It stinks to have to wait.
Monday, September 18, 2006
A play and a movie
This weekend I had the pleasure of attending a play, my first in a long long while. It's called In the Continuum and it's about two black women and their story of HIV. Haha, I tricked Jason! I just told him I wanted to go see a play but he didn't know what they were about until after he ordered the tickets. I think otherwise, ten horses wouldn't have been able to drag him to the play.
Actually the two women were extremely talented. One played a Zimbabwean wife and mother, and the other played a teenager in ghetto L.A. The only thing these two women have in common are that they are both black, female, pregnant and have HIV. Okay, I guess that's alot in common. Anyway, it's a pretty cool play. The whole play consisted of only these two people, playing various characters at different times.
I thought the body movement was very good, engaging, spirited, etc etc. I had higher expectations of the emotional engagement of the play, but I felt little urge to turn on the faucets at the end, when it becomes all sad and stirring. Still, I got to see some different cultures than my own, I also got a glimpse of the universality of human love, needs, desires, etc. All that good stuff. Go see it if you get a chance.
The movie I watched this past weekend...ah, I am sure few people would disagree with me when I say, it was a true masterpiece: Clockwork Orange. yes, there was an overabundance of the female flesh, and at times, even the male genitalia. Yet, all that added to the film, rather than detracted. And the words! The language! What beauty the English language could be, I never suspected. I felt like I was falling in love with the English language all over again in the way it was used, the way the actors purred the words and in the way, the different combinations of sounds and syllables came together in delightful symphony. I wish I could do justice to how well done the language of the film was, but there are other things not to be overlooked as well. The colors, the composition of the film, even the actor, these magical elements really came togehter and made the film work for me, in ways I could not have imagined. I'm almost tempted to break out in NADSAT speak now, but that would just be carrying my fanaticism a bit too far. Well okay, just a bit. I think I'll chat more later, my droogies! Your faithful blogging devotchka, Emilie. Hehe.
Actually the two women were extremely talented. One played a Zimbabwean wife and mother, and the other played a teenager in ghetto L.A. The only thing these two women have in common are that they are both black, female, pregnant and have HIV. Okay, I guess that's alot in common. Anyway, it's a pretty cool play. The whole play consisted of only these two people, playing various characters at different times.
I thought the body movement was very good, engaging, spirited, etc etc. I had higher expectations of the emotional engagement of the play, but I felt little urge to turn on the faucets at the end, when it becomes all sad and stirring. Still, I got to see some different cultures than my own, I also got a glimpse of the universality of human love, needs, desires, etc. All that good stuff. Go see it if you get a chance.
The movie I watched this past weekend...ah, I am sure few people would disagree with me when I say, it was a true masterpiece: Clockwork Orange. yes, there was an overabundance of the female flesh, and at times, even the male genitalia. Yet, all that added to the film, rather than detracted. And the words! The language! What beauty the English language could be, I never suspected. I felt like I was falling in love with the English language all over again in the way it was used, the way the actors purred the words and in the way, the different combinations of sounds and syllables came together in delightful symphony. I wish I could do justice to how well done the language of the film was, but there are other things not to be overlooked as well. The colors, the composition of the film, even the actor, these magical elements really came togehter and made the film work for me, in ways I could not have imagined. I'm almost tempted to break out in NADSAT speak now, but that would just be carrying my fanaticism a bit too far. Well okay, just a bit. I think I'll chat more later, my droogies! Your faithful blogging devotchka, Emilie. Hehe.
Friday, September 15, 2006
WTC, the movie
I went to watch the World Trade Center by myself yesterday. I was in the mood for a good cry and I think I got exactly what I wanted. I didn’t think I would be so emotional watching the events of that day replay out. It was primarily focused on two individuals who were trapped by the debris and rubble of the collapsed concourse that lay between Tower 1 and Tower 2. The irony is, these two and the others who died didn’t even get a chance to help anyone else. I guess that is neither here nor there, they were heroic for simply even walking into a collapsing building with the intention to help evacuate people. It’s heartwarming though to see people rally together, united with the sole goal of saving lives, helping others. Nothing else so dramatically showcases that fundamentally, we are all humans. In times of crises, race, prejudices, differences all become insignificant before the more overwhelming priority to bond as humans. A white woman and a black woman, within two minutes of meeting each other, were sobbing into each others’ arms like sisters and best friends. When else would this happen ever?
I guess the movie was a humongous tear-jerker. Actually, it was a torrent-jerker. Some people were literally sobbing in the theater. I wasn’t one of them, but I had my fair share of sniffling.
I guess I don’t know if I would necessarily recommend it. There are no surprises. It’s a movie about perseverance and hope and people helping each other. It’s like the film Passion. There’s no surprise, but it’s cathartic in that it lets one release some pent up emotion. So see it and use it as a emotional diuretic, I guess.
I guess the movie was a humongous tear-jerker. Actually, it was a torrent-jerker. Some people were literally sobbing in the theater. I wasn’t one of them, but I had my fair share of sniffling.
I guess I don’t know if I would necessarily recommend it. There are no surprises. It’s a movie about perseverance and hope and people helping each other. It’s like the film Passion. There’s no surprise, but it’s cathartic in that it lets one release some pent up emotion. So see it and use it as a emotional diuretic, I guess.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Stumbling out of the cave
I feel that I have become more selfish and self-absorbed over the years, either that, or I've always been this selfish but I've only become more conscious of it over the years.
There is something to be said for living a selfless life. It is my ideal, but I don't know if I will ever get there. Today at Church I listened to some people share about their short term missions trips to China. It reawakened something inside of me. But I was stern with myself. I asked myself, what is it that appeals to me about going off to some remote mountainous region in China and then "helping" the people there, either by teaching English, telling them about God, showing my care for them, etc etc? What does it truly mean? Underneath that, is there an element of, I am the savior who shall come and descend among these poor pitiful people and bestow my graces and bountiful blessings? Is there that egotistic element of playing Superman? What is my true motive for thinking that I want to do that? To play dressup as Mother Theresa?
I think to some extent, it definitely is. And until I can divorce that element from my motives for going out there, I don't think that I should. There is truly something to be said for selflessness. I think it is simply incredible and awe-inspiring if a person can devote themselves tirelessly to a cause that they believe is greater than themselves and at the same time, be devoid of arrogance and self-congratulatory tendencies. If it's not about themselves but only about how they can give, that is the true essence of greatness. I believe I have read of people like that. I can't say I know of anyone personally. Most people I know (and you know I love you guys anyway) are mostly bustling around all day long worrying about how to carve out a nicer, bigger piece of pie for themselves. At this point, people my age have two predominant worries - how to find that wonderful soul mate and how to jump onto the fast track to a kick ass career and succeed beyond their wildest dreams. I don't know...there is nothing wrong with that, but for some reason, I find myself oddly dissatisfied with a life based only on those two criteria.
That's why I say that I'm too self-absorbed. It's all about me me me these days. I worry about myself, my applications, my life. All this worrying is just giving me a headache. Enough already. I think I need to reach a point where I understand that there are things out there more worthy of attention than myself. I'm getting a bit tired of a world where I'm at the center of the universe. I think a person that has gained some measure of wisdom can recognize that the world is much much larger than one insignificant person and is able to step out of that egotistic encasement and take a look around. It would be like the person coming out of Plato's cave and seeing a bigger much more beautiful world, perhaps. It is time I get out of my cave, but would anyone care to show me the way?
There is something to be said for living a selfless life. It is my ideal, but I don't know if I will ever get there. Today at Church I listened to some people share about their short term missions trips to China. It reawakened something inside of me. But I was stern with myself. I asked myself, what is it that appeals to me about going off to some remote mountainous region in China and then "helping" the people there, either by teaching English, telling them about God, showing my care for them, etc etc? What does it truly mean? Underneath that, is there an element of, I am the savior who shall come and descend among these poor pitiful people and bestow my graces and bountiful blessings? Is there that egotistic element of playing Superman? What is my true motive for thinking that I want to do that? To play dressup as Mother Theresa?
I think to some extent, it definitely is. And until I can divorce that element from my motives for going out there, I don't think that I should. There is truly something to be said for selflessness. I think it is simply incredible and awe-inspiring if a person can devote themselves tirelessly to a cause that they believe is greater than themselves and at the same time, be devoid of arrogance and self-congratulatory tendencies. If it's not about themselves but only about how they can give, that is the true essence of greatness. I believe I have read of people like that. I can't say I know of anyone personally. Most people I know (and you know I love you guys anyway) are mostly bustling around all day long worrying about how to carve out a nicer, bigger piece of pie for themselves. At this point, people my age have two predominant worries - how to find that wonderful soul mate and how to jump onto the fast track to a kick ass career and succeed beyond their wildest dreams. I don't know...there is nothing wrong with that, but for some reason, I find myself oddly dissatisfied with a life based only on those two criteria.
That's why I say that I'm too self-absorbed. It's all about me me me these days. I worry about myself, my applications, my life. All this worrying is just giving me a headache. Enough already. I think I need to reach a point where I understand that there are things out there more worthy of attention than myself. I'm getting a bit tired of a world where I'm at the center of the universe. I think a person that has gained some measure of wisdom can recognize that the world is much much larger than one insignificant person and is able to step out of that egotistic encasement and take a look around. It would be like the person coming out of Plato's cave and seeing a bigger much more beautiful world, perhaps. It is time I get out of my cave, but would anyone care to show me the way?
Friday, September 08, 2006
My latest essay
When I was no more than five years old, I used to be able to sit quietly at a table for hours on end, drawing things that amused me. My mother told me that she was surprised at how focused and absorbed I was in my task. I believe the reason I was so attentive to drawing was because it was a creative and visual act. I am extremely visually-oriented. I am inexplicably drawn to colors, patterns, and compositions. For this reason, as I grew older, I developed a strong interest in photography and later, in film.
As an adolescent, I took on the project of drawing a portrait for every person in my class based on school photographs. I remembered the project being a long and difficult one, as I struggled to capture everyone’s unique and defining quality. Everyone has it. If that essence is missing, the picture would not resemble the subject, except perhaps with a stretch of the imagination. I remembered still the excitement of my classmates, as they hovered around my final work, to see themselves rendered in pencil and graphite. Even though it was not easy, I took great pride in having finished my project.
Now, instead of drawing, I have become immersed in the art of photography. I consider myself fortunate to live in an era of digital photography. Digital photography allows me to capture shot after shot, visual compilations of people, objects, colors and hue, without worrying about running out of film. Whenever I take pictures now, I take into consideration the size of the subject and its relation to the surroundings. I also consider the color contrasts between various objects within the composition and how they play up each other’s strengths. At times, on a bright sunny day in New York City, I would stride out with my digital camera, ready to capture the vicissitudes of city life megapixel by megapixel.
In a way, although I cannot boast of any major talent, I have a natural inclination for the arts. I enjoy creativity and I enjoy visual displays. My interest in colorful arrangements and aesthetically pleasing organization carries over in many other aspects of my life. For instance, I enjoy decorating, whether it is decorating a room or arranging a fruit platter. I take joy in making something that may have been ordinary look just a little less ordinary.
I believe that my natural love for beauty or what I deem to be beautiful has become a life philosophy. I seek out, indeed, I am eager to find beauty in the world. I also seek beauty in people, not necessarily beauty that is espoused in mainstream consciousness. Sometimes I am delighted when I discover a quality about a person that may have escaped me before. At those moments, I have noticed and captured the essence of beauty in that individual. It is my hope that I will continue to live out my life in this fashion, cultivating a keen aesthetic sense, to create works of art and in my own way, make the world a more beautiful place, visually or otherwise.
As an adolescent, I took on the project of drawing a portrait for every person in my class based on school photographs. I remembered the project being a long and difficult one, as I struggled to capture everyone’s unique and defining quality. Everyone has it. If that essence is missing, the picture would not resemble the subject, except perhaps with a stretch of the imagination. I remembered still the excitement of my classmates, as they hovered around my final work, to see themselves rendered in pencil and graphite. Even though it was not easy, I took great pride in having finished my project.
Now, instead of drawing, I have become immersed in the art of photography. I consider myself fortunate to live in an era of digital photography. Digital photography allows me to capture shot after shot, visual compilations of people, objects, colors and hue, without worrying about running out of film. Whenever I take pictures now, I take into consideration the size of the subject and its relation to the surroundings. I also consider the color contrasts between various objects within the composition and how they play up each other’s strengths. At times, on a bright sunny day in New York City, I would stride out with my digital camera, ready to capture the vicissitudes of city life megapixel by megapixel.
In a way, although I cannot boast of any major talent, I have a natural inclination for the arts. I enjoy creativity and I enjoy visual displays. My interest in colorful arrangements and aesthetically pleasing organization carries over in many other aspects of my life. For instance, I enjoy decorating, whether it is decorating a room or arranging a fruit platter. I take joy in making something that may have been ordinary look just a little less ordinary.
I believe that my natural love for beauty or what I deem to be beautiful has become a life philosophy. I seek out, indeed, I am eager to find beauty in the world. I also seek beauty in people, not necessarily beauty that is espoused in mainstream consciousness. Sometimes I am delighted when I discover a quality about a person that may have escaped me before. At those moments, I have noticed and captured the essence of beauty in that individual. It is my hope that I will continue to live out my life in this fashion, cultivating a keen aesthetic sense, to create works of art and in my own way, make the world a more beautiful place, visually or otherwise.
There is no title for this one
I had a dream about my mentor last night. He was mentoring me in surgery. Perhaps I was a surgical resident. In any case, he told me to perform a brain surgery ON MYSELF. I remember thinking momentarily, "But it might be painful. But wait, I've done it before, I can do this!" I was getting myself all pumped up and psyched. This must be what it feels like to be brainwashed. You manage to convince yourself that the utterly absurd is the correct course of action. He took a piece of paper and drew out the two places on my forehead that I was to make the incision. After the incision, I was to pull apart the tissues underlying the skin and pluck out something, I don’t know what. He also gave me some thread which I was suppose to use to sew myself back together. It all made perfect sense to me. I remember worrying a little bit that it won’t go as planned, but the thought that someone else should be doing this never occurred to me. Really!!! What the hell is this suppose to mean? I was all ready to take the scalpel to my forehead too, intent on impressing him with my skill and dexterity. Somewhere in my mind, I have come unhinged.
In other news, I forced myself to send out a secondary yesterday. It was pretty crappy actually. I know I shouldn’t be such a downer, but I don’t think I have much of a shot at this school so the effort and drive to try very hard and write some stunning essay for it is simply beyond my psychological capacity. Still, I’m happy to have sent it out and get it off my TODO list. I have a love/hate relationship with my TODOs. Making a TODO makes me feel organized, but my ultimate desire is to destroy and eliminate the TODO list too.
I’ve reverted back to an old habit again – watching cheesy Asian drama. The current one’s got all the elements of cheesy soap opera fare – dashing rich guy, beautiful, sweet but slightly less well off girl, a loyal and constant admirer who loves her, a mother who’s the ultimate beyatch, two side characters who provide comic relief. When I first started watching, I was still detached and bemused at how bad it was and how forced everyone’s acting seemed. Now, in spite of my realization of its obvious flaws, I’m hooked! Hooked hopelessly, like an addict. Soap opera addiction is really not that much different from alcoholism, I think.
Last night went to Happy Hour with coworkers. It was like a couples night thing, because everyone in the lab is pretty much 1 of 2. They all brought their significant others, including one couple who brought their 2 month old baby. Cute thing, couldn’t really hold up its neck yet, so it was just this puddly gooey little floppy thing. I was afraid to hold it in case I dropped it.
Jason should be having a good time in China right now. Lucky boy. I wish I were there too.
In other news, I forced myself to send out a secondary yesterday. It was pretty crappy actually. I know I shouldn’t be such a downer, but I don’t think I have much of a shot at this school so the effort and drive to try very hard and write some stunning essay for it is simply beyond my psychological capacity. Still, I’m happy to have sent it out and get it off my TODO list. I have a love/hate relationship with my TODOs. Making a TODO makes me feel organized, but my ultimate desire is to destroy and eliminate the TODO list too.
I’ve reverted back to an old habit again – watching cheesy Asian drama. The current one’s got all the elements of cheesy soap opera fare – dashing rich guy, beautiful, sweet but slightly less well off girl, a loyal and constant admirer who loves her, a mother who’s the ultimate beyatch, two side characters who provide comic relief. When I first started watching, I was still detached and bemused at how bad it was and how forced everyone’s acting seemed. Now, in spite of my realization of its obvious flaws, I’m hooked! Hooked hopelessly, like an addict. Soap opera addiction is really not that much different from alcoholism, I think.
Last night went to Happy Hour with coworkers. It was like a couples night thing, because everyone in the lab is pretty much 1 of 2. They all brought their significant others, including one couple who brought their 2 month old baby. Cute thing, couldn’t really hold up its neck yet, so it was just this puddly gooey little floppy thing. I was afraid to hold it in case I dropped it.
Jason should be having a good time in China right now. Lucky boy. I wish I were there too.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Update on Clubbing
So I was talking to Olivia tonight and she told me some interesting news update. The other night when we went clubbing, we ended up dancing with two Korean guys. One of them was quite attractive, the other one was okay. Anyway, both guys were extremely interested in getting to know us better, which of course is not surprising. At around 4 AM, I dragged my friend out of the club because I still had to get up early for a wedding the next morning and they followed us out. Then my friend actually gave them her phone number! Go Olivia, she's more open and daring than I gave her credit for. One of the guys gave her a business card in return, evidently he's a producer of some kind in New York City. Anyway, we exchanged our goodbyes (my goodbye may have been a bit slurred) and then collapsed into a taxi. And I thought that was the end of it. but nooope!
She actually met up with them for dinner some time later in the week! Lucky girl =) The cute guy has since gone back to Korea now, but the producer guy is still hanging around town. Oh well, what can I say? new york city girls get all the fun, maryland girls just get stuck writing about such stuff and excitement on the blog and share in some vicarious fun.
She actually met up with them for dinner some time later in the week! Lucky girl =) The cute guy has since gone back to Korea now, but the producer guy is still hanging around town. Oh well, what can I say? new york city girls get all the fun, maryland girls just get stuck writing about such stuff and excitement on the blog and share in some vicarious fun.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Labor Day Weekend
Geoff and Eric, two family friends, came to visit this weekend. It was a good ol' time hanging with the boys. They also brought along a very quiet dog whose name is still very much under contention. Wendy - I suggested Rumi in dedication to your love for the 14th century saint/poet/philosopher. I thought it would be an elegant name for a dog and it also sounded girlist enough. But I think the dog's owner was more in favor of calling it after his favorite animated dog, Gromit, the gender difference evidently a trivial detail.
Anyway, we hit up Georgetown and checked out the campus so I get to drool all over this reach school once again. In welcoming its entering freshman class for the Fall, there were cheesy slogans decking the school campus, in honor of itself and how great it is. It's like, yes, yes, we know we're the shit and you'll be lucky to attend us, you insignificant little thing you.
There was a bust of Guo Fu, or Sun Yat-sen in its international affairs building. It was rather interesting and we all took turns posing next to it. Then we found another very interesting statue, made all the more interesting with the creative poses that these guys managed to think up. Unfortunately I'm a PG-13 blog so I won't be posting THOSE pictures here tonight. =)
So what else? Oh we went to watch Little Miss Sunshine. It was hilarious!!! I never laughed so hard at a film's climatic scene. It was a moment where it was so bad you almost didn't know whether to cry or to laugh, but in the end, I thankfully chose one over the other. It was definitely a good movie though, and I'm glad I got to watch it finally. I don't really want to give it away for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. It's one of those movies that feel really real and the distance between art and life was impressively removed to the point of being non-existent. In this way, it makes you take it seriously inspite of yourself.
I finished Scrubs Season III. Eh...it's starting to wear a bit thin to me. I don't even know if I should buy the season or not. I did buy the first two and they were both good, but I don't know if I should buy a mediocre season just for having a complete collection.
Oh yeah, the dog, cute dog as it is, but barfed all over the place Sunday night. I wasn't very helpful I'm afraid, because not only am I afraid of being bitten by a dog, but I'm also not so inclined to touch dog vomit. But poor pup, I think it felt both sick and also somewhat ashamed that it made such a mess. Because afterwards, when I approached it, it looked at me with sad droopy eyes and sorta traipsed abashedly to its little cage, whimpering a bit. I know the feeling darling. Throwing up never feels very good.
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Well anyway, I guess I'm sort of rambling which is always a cue to stop here and put an end to the agony. Anyway, c'est ca parce qu j'ai finis! au revoir.
Anyway, we hit up Georgetown and checked out the campus so I get to drool all over this reach school once again. In welcoming its entering freshman class for the Fall, there were cheesy slogans decking the school campus, in honor of itself and how great it is. It's like, yes, yes, we know we're the shit and you'll be lucky to attend us, you insignificant little thing you.
There was a bust of Guo Fu, or Sun Yat-sen in its international affairs building. It was rather interesting and we all took turns posing next to it. Then we found another very interesting statue, made all the more interesting with the creative poses that these guys managed to think up. Unfortunately I'm a PG-13 blog so I won't be posting THOSE pictures here tonight. =)
So what else? Oh we went to watch Little Miss Sunshine. It was hilarious!!! I never laughed so hard at a film's climatic scene. It was a moment where it was so bad you almost didn't know whether to cry or to laugh, but in the end, I thankfully chose one over the other. It was definitely a good movie though, and I'm glad I got to watch it finally. I don't really want to give it away for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. It's one of those movies that feel really real and the distance between art and life was impressively removed to the point of being non-existent. In this way, it makes you take it seriously inspite of yourself.
I finished Scrubs Season III. Eh...it's starting to wear a bit thin to me. I don't even know if I should buy the season or not. I did buy the first two and they were both good, but I don't know if I should buy a mediocre season just for having a complete collection.
Oh yeah, the dog, cute dog as it is, but barfed all over the place Sunday night. I wasn't very helpful I'm afraid, because not only am I afraid of being bitten by a dog, but I'm also not so inclined to touch dog vomit. But poor pup, I think it felt both sick and also somewhat ashamed that it made such a mess. Because afterwards, when I approached it, it looked at me with sad droopy eyes and sorta traipsed abashedly to its little cage, whimpering a bit. I know the feeling darling. Throwing up never feels very good.
">
Well anyway, I guess I'm sort of rambling which is always a cue to stop here and put an end to the agony. Anyway, c'est ca parce qu j'ai finis! au revoir.
Friday, September 01, 2006
It's Friday night
and Jason has flown away to China. Have a safe flight Gromit!
Actually it's raining today and everywhere it's cold, damp, and just...ughish. No real motivation to do anything productive. It's a day to crawl into warm cottony bed and curl up with Bronco and just be.
Maybe watch some Scrubs.
I have such grandiose plans to clean my room, donate like half my closet to charity (because I feel the need to refresh my wardrobe, every year) and feel organized and on top of the world. I mentioned before that the process of organization can produce endorphine like feelings of accomplishment and self-satisfaction. However, the gratification induced by POO usually doesn't last very long.
I watched the Illusionist with Wendy recently. We both, cynical critics and cinema connoisieurs that we are (i'm feeling alliterative tonight) gave the movie a bland review. I thought Ed Norton was good, intense, great acting blah blah blah. Paul Giamatti, another formidable talent. The female, a strong female character. However the story was somewhat weak. Supposedly the ending should be a big surprise to everyone, but it's really not, at least not to me. It's somewhat along the lines of the Usual Suspects, but it only works if you were truly taken in. Now I'm not proclaiming that I'm such a brilliant deductionist, but perhaps my mind works in sufficiently twisted ways that the movie has failed to out-twist my mental labrynthe. Be that as it may, the cinematography was good, the love story lush if unconvincing.
I really want to go see Little Miss Sunshine. Alright! That's my goal for the Labor Day weekend. Actually, the fall pickings look pretty decent. I am looking forward to a fair number of movies actually. Wendy and I discussed moving into a convent and becoming a nun. My first question to her was, Would you be able to give up movies? That shows you my strange perverse attachment to the silver screen. I heart film to my dying day.
Actually it's raining today and everywhere it's cold, damp, and just...ughish. No real motivation to do anything productive. It's a day to crawl into warm cottony bed and curl up with Bronco and just be.
Maybe watch some Scrubs.
I have such grandiose plans to clean my room, donate like half my closet to charity (because I feel the need to refresh my wardrobe, every year) and feel organized and on top of the world. I mentioned before that the process of organization can produce endorphine like feelings of accomplishment and self-satisfaction. However, the gratification induced by POO usually doesn't last very long.
I watched the Illusionist with Wendy recently. We both, cynical critics and cinema connoisieurs that we are (i'm feeling alliterative tonight) gave the movie a bland review. I thought Ed Norton was good, intense, great acting blah blah blah. Paul Giamatti, another formidable talent. The female, a strong female character. However the story was somewhat weak. Supposedly the ending should be a big surprise to everyone, but it's really not, at least not to me. It's somewhat along the lines of the Usual Suspects, but it only works if you were truly taken in. Now I'm not proclaiming that I'm such a brilliant deductionist, but perhaps my mind works in sufficiently twisted ways that the movie has failed to out-twist my mental labrynthe. Be that as it may, the cinematography was good, the love story lush if unconvincing.
I really want to go see Little Miss Sunshine. Alright! That's my goal for the Labor Day weekend. Actually, the fall pickings look pretty decent. I am looking forward to a fair number of movies actually. Wendy and I discussed moving into a convent and becoming a nun. My first question to her was, Would you be able to give up movies? That shows you my strange perverse attachment to the silver screen. I heart film to my dying day.
My new favorite song
I love it I love it I love it!!!
Rob Thomas
All That I Am
I am the one winged bird for flying
Sinking quickly to the ground
See your faith in me subsiding
See you prime for giving in
I give you all that I am
I am the sound of love's arriving
Echoed softly on the sand
Lay your head upon my shoulder
Lay your hand within my hand
I give you all that I am
And I breathe where you breathe
Let me stand where you stand
With all that I am
I am the white dove for a soldier
Ever marching as to war
I would give my life to save you
I stand guarding at your door
I give you all that I am
I am the one winged bird for flying
Sinking quickly to the ground
I am the blind man for a watchdog
I am prime for giving in
I'll show you all that I am
And I breathe so you breathe
Let me stand so you'll stand
With all that I am
Rob Thomas
All That I Am
I am the one winged bird for flying
Sinking quickly to the ground
See your faith in me subsiding
See you prime for giving in
I give you all that I am
I am the sound of love's arriving
Echoed softly on the sand
Lay your head upon my shoulder
Lay your hand within my hand
I give you all that I am
And I breathe where you breathe
Let me stand where you stand
With all that I am
I am the white dove for a soldier
Ever marching as to war
I would give my life to save you
I stand guarding at your door
I give you all that I am
I am the one winged bird for flying
Sinking quickly to the ground
I am the blind man for a watchdog
I am prime for giving in
I'll show you all that I am
And I breathe so you breathe
Let me stand so you'll stand
With all that I am
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