to take a little snooze in the car during the middle of a workday. I just went out and munched on a lunch quickly and then proceeded to curl up in the back of my car with a fluffy blanket. I was OUT in maybe 2 minutes. It was such peace and quiet and lovely whiteness around me. Such a luxury, such an indulgence. The 30 minutes passed by quickly though. I found it hard to wake up. My only possible reservation is that I don't have dark tinted windows, so anyone and their grandmother can walk by and see me sprawled over my backseat. Not that I could have cared too much when I was completely out.
So last night I watched the finale of Bachelor Paris. I have no other excuses for watching such a trashy show except for the fact that I was in full blown couch potato mode. . My mom was intrigued by the show and came by to watch with me. We ended up rooting for different girls to "win" the favor of the bachelor. She rooted for the girl that his family likes. I rooted for the girl that his family doesn't like as much. I lost. Still, I think my girl is more sophisticated and deeper than the all-american, bland cheesy girl that won. So there.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Day of Bemoaning
Today I woke up with extreme reluctance. This feeling of ennui and general malaise stayed with me all throughout my morning commute. As I parked in the parking lot and dragged my feet going to work, I noticed with consternation this little old lady who very peppily and briskly walked in front of me. Each step of her walk seems impossibily jaunty and placed me in utter shame. Why do I move with a body that has less juice than someone 40 years my senior? Food for thought when I have more energy to ponder this enigma.
I watched episode 5 of 24 last night. Let's see...where were we? Oh yes, spoiler warning. Behrooz found out about the plot of his annihilation and it was engineered by one closest to him. What a shock! What a mind-blower! Actually you knew it was coming...sorta. It's a reverse oedipal complex or parental disappointment taken to the extreme. I wonder if I will have an appointment with Tariq if I don't get into medical school this year? =( (I suppose only 24 fans will know what I mean)
Recently I've been reading a decidedly cheesy book by Phoebe Eng entitled Warrior Lessons. She's the founder of A. Magazine, one I am not personally familiar with but am curious to find out more about. However, I have to say that for the most part, her book has been a waste of time. I hate to denigrate one of my own, but in the strictest literary sense possible, I didn't find her book to be a motherlode. She offers some cliched advice that has been illuminated by better writers before and after her. I especially find askance with her anecdotal evidence as representative of the majority of Asians in America. Although at times, she has offered some interesting insight to the Asian American condition in America, not all of her generalizations are convincing to me. Okay to be fair, I do agree with her that more needs to be done to advance the rights and privileges of Asian Americans...but who am I kidding, I am not about to be one of the Asian movers and shakers of American society. Maybe in a few years....
I watched episode 5 of 24 last night. Let's see...where were we? Oh yes, spoiler warning. Behrooz found out about the plot of his annihilation and it was engineered by one closest to him. What a shock! What a mind-blower! Actually you knew it was coming...sorta. It's a reverse oedipal complex or parental disappointment taken to the extreme. I wonder if I will have an appointment with Tariq if I don't get into medical school this year? =( (I suppose only 24 fans will know what I mean)
Recently I've been reading a decidedly cheesy book by Phoebe Eng entitled Warrior Lessons. She's the founder of A. Magazine, one I am not personally familiar with but am curious to find out more about. However, I have to say that for the most part, her book has been a waste of time. I hate to denigrate one of my own, but in the strictest literary sense possible, I didn't find her book to be a motherlode. She offers some cliched advice that has been illuminated by better writers before and after her. I especially find askance with her anecdotal evidence as representative of the majority of Asians in America. Although at times, she has offered some interesting insight to the Asian American condition in America, not all of her generalizations are convincing to me. Okay to be fair, I do agree with her that more needs to be done to advance the rights and privileges of Asian Americans...but who am I kidding, I am not about to be one of the Asian movers and shakers of American society. Maybe in a few years....
Friday, February 24, 2006
More Blah to Blah
Watched episode 2 of Season 4 of 24. I am still disliking Erin Driscoll, all she seems capable of doing is imitating the bureacratic airs of Ryan Chappelle (and we know what happened to him...) I also think the Secretary of Defense's son has major mental issues. With his wild eyes and frantic gesticulating motions, something in him is definitely unhinged.
As always, 24 has to feature some loopy teenagers and in this season, it's Behrooz and his girlfriend, Debbie, who whines about being neglected. I feel that girls should learn to stop caring about whether or not their boyfriends pay attention to them. It's up to girls to find stuff to do with their time and let the guys come to them, and beg for THEIR attention for a change. Perhaps when I was younger, I was similarly guilty of this neediness syndrome but I think over the years I have developed quite a capacity for being emotionally self-sufficient. At the very least, I am good at coming up with ways of self-amusement. But perhaps that's also because I'm borderline anti-social, which I will hasten to add, only AT TIMES.
Today I will do a final beta-galactosidase assay on one of my mutant strains. It involves, as with the others, growing cell cultures up to a certain level of density which translates to me waiting for the cells to grow and divide, grow and divide at their leisurely pace. What a beta-galactosidase assay does is measure the protein expression/activity within a certain cell and is a way for me to determine whether or not a particular mutant cell is functioning. Next week I get to do mutagenesis which means unleashing on the cells on kinds of unholy terrors in the form of deadly toxins so that we create severely mutated E.coli cells. I was forewarned that what I do to these bacterial DNAs, I can potentially do onto my own DNA. Too bad being a real life mutant won't be nearly as glamourous as we've been led to believe. BTW, a question that just occurred to me, the teenage mutant ninja turtles...were they like docile turtles that crawled on all fours prior to mutation? maybe Jason will kindly illuminate that fact for us.
As always, 24 has to feature some loopy teenagers and in this season, it's Behrooz and his girlfriend, Debbie, who whines about being neglected. I feel that girls should learn to stop caring about whether or not their boyfriends pay attention to them. It's up to girls to find stuff to do with their time and let the guys come to them, and beg for THEIR attention for a change. Perhaps when I was younger, I was similarly guilty of this neediness syndrome but I think over the years I have developed quite a capacity for being emotionally self-sufficient. At the very least, I am good at coming up with ways of self-amusement. But perhaps that's also because I'm borderline anti-social, which I will hasten to add, only AT TIMES.
Today I will do a final beta-galactosidase assay on one of my mutant strains. It involves, as with the others, growing cell cultures up to a certain level of density which translates to me waiting for the cells to grow and divide, grow and divide at their leisurely pace. What a beta-galactosidase assay does is measure the protein expression/activity within a certain cell and is a way for me to determine whether or not a particular mutant cell is functioning. Next week I get to do mutagenesis which means unleashing on the cells on kinds of unholy terrors in the form of deadly toxins so that we create severely mutated E.coli cells. I was forewarned that what I do to these bacterial DNAs, I can potentially do onto my own DNA. Too bad being a real life mutant won't be nearly as glamourous as we've been led to believe. BTW, a question that just occurred to me, the teenage mutant ninja turtles...were they like docile turtles that crawled on all fours prior to mutation? maybe Jason will kindly illuminate that fact for us.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
24, Season 4
Yeah I figured, what the hell, I might as well start on Season 4. I watched episode 1 last night. Some of the new characters took some getting used to. Some of the newer female characters leave much to be desired. The new director of CTU: Erin Driscoll? Yuck...she looks like she had a bad case of botox treatment. Other woman, Sarah, one word: bimbo. And Jack's new woman? I can't even remember her name. Compared to past notables like Michelle, Nina, Kim and even Kate Warner, I have very little patience or sympathy for these characters. Hopefully it will get better. Oh yeah, I actually like grumpy ol' Chloe, simply because I'm used to her from Season 3. What happened to CTU? It's barely recognizable wthout Tony Almeida around!
Week in experimentation
So this week is my test week, to see if I can stick to a disciplined schedule and condition my ability to focus. Another thing that has been happening besides studying for the MCAT is that I've been getting up consistently at 7:45 AM. This is my typical routine -- it's so fascinating, I just have to share it.
I roll out of bed at about 7:45 AM, disheveled, disgruntled, always wishing for just a bit more time to loll around in bed. I'm a master loller, for those who know me. So i roll out, blind, stumble to the bathroom and wash up. Then I go down stairs, have a cup of steaming hot thai instant coffee and bagel or toaster strudels then I go back upstairs somewhat more awake and finish my morning toiletries. This entire process takes me about 25 minutes if I'm fast and usually I'm out the door by 8:15 AM.
Now, this is where my discipline needs to come in. I keep telling myself night after night, alright emily, tomorrow we're going to get up at 7 AM. Hasn't happened yet. But hopefully I can slowly inch my wake up time closer and closer to 7 AM, working my way down from 7:45 AM. Sometimes I feel like I'm not in control of my body, that it clearly has more willpower than my mind. It's a constant struggle within myself, the mind vs body power struggle. One day I will execute a coup d'etat on my body and it won't know what hit it and then, I will turn myself into a lean mean disciplined machine.
I roll out of bed at about 7:45 AM, disheveled, disgruntled, always wishing for just a bit more time to loll around in bed. I'm a master loller, for those who know me. So i roll out, blind, stumble to the bathroom and wash up. Then I go down stairs, have a cup of steaming hot thai instant coffee and bagel or toaster strudels then I go back upstairs somewhat more awake and finish my morning toiletries. This entire process takes me about 25 minutes if I'm fast and usually I'm out the door by 8:15 AM.
Now, this is where my discipline needs to come in. I keep telling myself night after night, alright emily, tomorrow we're going to get up at 7 AM. Hasn't happened yet. But hopefully I can slowly inch my wake up time closer and closer to 7 AM, working my way down from 7:45 AM. Sometimes I feel like I'm not in control of my body, that it clearly has more willpower than my mind. It's a constant struggle within myself, the mind vs body power struggle. One day I will execute a coup d'etat on my body and it won't know what hit it and then, I will turn myself into a lean mean disciplined machine.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Pangs of Hunger
So I'm waiting for my cells to grow again, and I can't leave to go to lunch because I need to be vigilant in monitoring their growth. The tricky thing is, they can only grow to a certain point and then they must be stopped, at which point these bacterial cells will be subjected to any number of sadistic measures as deemed necessary by me. However in the mean time, it is I who must suffer. =(
This morning the commute was terribly slow due to another February wintry treat of snow and sleet. I amused myself by learning to sing a song by Richie Ren, his devil-may-care charm is what's so great about him. However the song I was learning is not as carefree, it's got a lot of chutzpah and I know that's not usually a word associated with me, which is why I liked it. I usually rely on the visual word too much, and not as much on audio learning. So learning to sing purely by listening was a new thing for me. It beats singing nonsense words, as Jason, my worried boyfriend can attest.
This morning the commute was terribly slow due to another February wintry treat of snow and sleet. I amused myself by learning to sing a song by Richie Ren, his devil-may-care charm is what's so great about him. However the song I was learning is not as carefree, it's got a lot of chutzpah and I know that's not usually a word associated with me, which is why I liked it. I usually rely on the visual word too much, and not as much on audio learning. So learning to sing purely by listening was a new thing for me. It beats singing nonsense words, as Jason, my worried boyfriend can attest.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
MCAT Study Day #1
So I've been pretty bad about getting my lazy butt started. But I will deem today as my official day one of studying. I logged in two plus hours of studying! Really not a small feat, if you know how truly and incorrigibly undisciplined I am. I've thought half seriously about joining the army before just to improve my discipline. However given the current state of affairs, I figured I'm better off taking my discipline training into my own hands rather than leave it in Bush's.
Today after work, I went to a seminar on HIV. One of the guest speakers was a patient who is HIV positive. He never did mention if he has full blown AIDS yet, however he was diagnosed back in 1986, so the chances are likely. It was really a very informative and interesting session. I learned a lot about the HIV virus. I know now that HIV viruses are constantly killing off CD4 cells and infecting a whole new batch of CD4 T-cells. The cycle occurs about once a day. What makes the HIV virus so deadly to humans is that the virus is constantly replicating and mutating, thus it develops over time strong resistances to various drugs. There are about four or five different classes of HIV drugs and within each class, about five or six various specific drugs. If a virus develops a resistance to a class of drugs, then that entire class of drugs is likely to be ineffective against the virus. The best option is to form a drug cocktail, culled from different classes to impact the virus from all fronts. Treatment sometimes involve intricate military-like strategems, because make no mistake, it's a vicious war between the HIV virus and your immune system. A truly fascinating subject which I will read more about when I get this awful MCAT behind me.
Today after work, I went to a seminar on HIV. One of the guest speakers was a patient who is HIV positive. He never did mention if he has full blown AIDS yet, however he was diagnosed back in 1986, so the chances are likely. It was really a very informative and interesting session. I learned a lot about the HIV virus. I know now that HIV viruses are constantly killing off CD4 cells and infecting a whole new batch of CD4 T-cells. The cycle occurs about once a day. What makes the HIV virus so deadly to humans is that the virus is constantly replicating and mutating, thus it develops over time strong resistances to various drugs. There are about four or five different classes of HIV drugs and within each class, about five or six various specific drugs. If a virus develops a resistance to a class of drugs, then that entire class of drugs is likely to be ineffective against the virus. The best option is to form a drug cocktail, culled from different classes to impact the virus from all fronts. Treatment sometimes involve intricate military-like strategems, because make no mistake, it's a vicious war between the HIV virus and your immune system. A truly fascinating subject which I will read more about when I get this awful MCAT behind me.
Mental discipline and all that jazz
Last night I sat down at my desk and meticulously drew out not one but TWO schedules for my upcoming MCAT exam. The first one was poorly drawn with ugly colors and thus, I deemed it aesthetically disgraceful and promptly redrew a second schedule. Yes, I definitely am breaking Jack Bauer's rule #1: keep your priorities straight. It seems to me that how my schedule physically looks is almost more important than whether or not I stick to my schedule. Sad state of affairs, eh mate?
However, all is not lost. Tonight is the real test. After I get home from work, I will sit my tush down and study for 2 hours. No excuses. No emergencies short of a terrorist attack will cause me to deviate from my schedule. it's time Emily becomes a tad bit more rigid on herself. Free-wheelin' and dealin' spirit? That's a luxury I can no longer afford. =(
So I was given a small assignment to come up with some films regarding or highlighting mentorship. It's an interesting proposal and caused me to think about the films I've enjoyed over the past years. Here are some that I mentioned:
Matrix: Free your mind.
Kill Bill I: Pai Mei and Beatrix Kiddo
Training Day: Denzel and Ethan Hawke
Entrapment: How to be a super art thief
Amelie: Her relationship with the Glass Man
Karate Kid: Wipe on wipe off
Hitch: How to get hitched
Finding Forrester: Not my personal favorite but definitely about mentorship
Dead Poets Society: Tear out those pages in the textbook - it's all trash
Scent of a Woman: Al Pacino: Hooah!!
Crash: Bitter Cop and Kid Cop
Shawshank Redemption
The Million Dollar Baby: Hillary Swank and Clint Eastwood
Good Will Hunting
However, all is not lost. Tonight is the real test. After I get home from work, I will sit my tush down and study for 2 hours. No excuses. No emergencies short of a terrorist attack will cause me to deviate from my schedule. it's time Emily becomes a tad bit more rigid on herself. Free-wheelin' and dealin' spirit? That's a luxury I can no longer afford. =(
So I was given a small assignment to come up with some films regarding or highlighting mentorship. It's an interesting proposal and caused me to think about the films I've enjoyed over the past years. Here are some that I mentioned:
Matrix: Free your mind.
Kill Bill I: Pai Mei and Beatrix Kiddo
Training Day: Denzel and Ethan Hawke
Entrapment: How to be a super art thief
Amelie: Her relationship with the Glass Man
Karate Kid: Wipe on wipe off
Hitch: How to get hitched
Finding Forrester: Not my personal favorite but definitely about mentorship
Dead Poets Society: Tear out those pages in the textbook - it's all trash
Scent of a Woman: Al Pacino: Hooah!!
Crash: Bitter Cop and Kid Cop
Shawshank Redemption
The Million Dollar Baby: Hillary Swank and Clint Eastwood
Good Will Hunting
Monday, February 20, 2006
My Day Off
So I stayed up til 3 AM chatting with my west coast friend. The sacrifices I make for this friendship! However it's all good since I got to sleep in today and woke up at a late and lazy 10'oclock. Glorious Glorious! Loved it!
I dropped by my lab briefly at around 12:30 to grow some more cells. I found just about everyone there, hard at work on a "day off." How sad for post-doc students. There is no day off. Your very life is tied to your experiment and you exist at the beck and call of your experimental protocols. At least all I had to do was prepare for tomorrow's experiment and boy did my hands fly. I was out of there in about 20 minutes when it'd normally take me 45. Nothing motivates like the call of freedom.
Then later on I went out to lunch with my parents at this neat little Asian bistro called Pacifica Cafe. We had some Thai food. Now I'm no thai connossieur, but the food was pretty decent. The owner of the bistro is this tiny dimunitive woman who is 35 but looks 17. She could probably fit comfortably on my left shoulder. Tiny people look so young, so not fair.
Anyhoo, time to get back on track. I get distracted way too easily.
I dropped by my lab briefly at around 12:30 to grow some more cells. I found just about everyone there, hard at work on a "day off." How sad for post-doc students. There is no day off. Your very life is tied to your experiment and you exist at the beck and call of your experimental protocols. At least all I had to do was prepare for tomorrow's experiment and boy did my hands fly. I was out of there in about 20 minutes when it'd normally take me 45. Nothing motivates like the call of freedom.
Then later on I went out to lunch with my parents at this neat little Asian bistro called Pacifica Cafe. We had some Thai food. Now I'm no thai connossieur, but the food was pretty decent. The owner of the bistro is this tiny dimunitive woman who is 35 but looks 17. She could probably fit comfortably on my left shoulder. Tiny people look so young, so not fair.
Anyhoo, time to get back on track. I get distracted way too easily.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Lessons from 24
So I have finished 24, Season 3. I watched the last 12 episodes within the last two days. Now that I am thinking about it, I think Jack Bauer offers some good take home lessons for us all.
1. Always keep your focus on the priority, the bigger picture. He's always willing to make sacrifices, hard ones to be sure, but necessary ones in order to accomplish a greater goal.
2. Remain detached, emotionally. Do not break down and snivel like a 2 yr old until after the crisis has passed.
3. Fatigue is not an option. It doesn't exist.
So I'm writing all this half asleep after crawling out of my afternoon nap. I feel very detached from what I'm writing now. I will say this though, I do feel great respect for Keifer Sutherland for his performance in the final episode. Finally, I see a human side to Jack Bauer. Oh when was the only time he actually grinned like a cheshire cat in this season? It was when he was gloating at Nina. Boy he couldn't contain himself that time.
1. Always keep your focus on the priority, the bigger picture. He's always willing to make sacrifices, hard ones to be sure, but necessary ones in order to accomplish a greater goal.
2. Remain detached, emotionally. Do not break down and snivel like a 2 yr old until after the crisis has passed.
3. Fatigue is not an option. It doesn't exist.
So I'm writing all this half asleep after crawling out of my afternoon nap. I feel very detached from what I'm writing now. I will say this though, I do feel great respect for Keifer Sutherland for his performance in the final episode. Finally, I see a human side to Jack Bauer. Oh when was the only time he actually grinned like a cheshire cat in this season? It was when he was gloating at Nina. Boy he couldn't contain himself that time.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Day Two
Just finished watching the episode where Ryan Chappelle gets offed. Was a pretty strong dramatic moment. Another case of ordinary people becoming extraordinary due to circumstances. I think if I were facing the same situation, I would choose to be a martyr as well. It appeals to the tragic element in me. However, that's not to say I wouldn't be wetting my pants while en route to the execution site.
Hm what else? This blog thing is rather overrated. I used to scoff at all those people who write as though they have such important things to say. Now it appears, I've become one of them. Except I have nothing important to say. It's not about the words, it's never about the words. Words are a shaky foundation to build your life on, a friend of mine observed recently. Wise words indeed. I don't know how much value there is in the written word. However I'm following the adage: don't knock it til you've tried it. Ergo, here I am.
Hm what else? This blog thing is rather overrated. I used to scoff at all those people who write as though they have such important things to say. Now it appears, I've become one of them. Except I have nothing important to say. It's not about the words, it's never about the words. Words are a shaky foundation to build your life on, a friend of mine observed recently. Wise words indeed. I don't know how much value there is in the written word. However I'm following the adage: don't knock it til you've tried it. Ergo, here I am.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Day One
It's now 10:37 AM in Bethesda, MD and I'm sitting at my workplace typing ever so diligently on my first post. Too bad I don't have an office job or I could pretend I'm hard at work. Instead, all my coworkers probably know that I'm just slacking. On the other hand, there isn't much to do when you are growing bacteria. You just have to let them be. The watched kettle never boils, according to conventional wisdom. I know from experience how annoying it is to have someone breathing down your neck. If I were to hover over my precious mutated bacteria, they may refuse to grow just to spite me. Therefore I am sitting calmly at my desk, very deliberately, very intently, killing time.
Ah time and me, we go way back. We have never gotten along. It's always liked to make things difficult for me. Time management is, as far as I'm concerned, an absolute myth. I'm just so bad at it.
So last night I watched 24, Season 3, episode...13. Great one. I just found out who the baby's father is. Naughty Jack wannabee. He's been pretty busy outside of work, apparently. Kim is of course, devastated and shocked speechless, for the umpteenth time in this season. She is starting to get on my nerves, because I realize she perpetually only has one expression on her face: the expression of stupefaction. I told Jason about it, but he stoutly defended her as at least better than Kate Warner. I think that's just his personal bias for young nubile girls. Haha.
Okay will post more later. Tata.
Ah time and me, we go way back. We have never gotten along. It's always liked to make things difficult for me. Time management is, as far as I'm concerned, an absolute myth. I'm just so bad at it.
So last night I watched 24, Season 3, episode...13. Great one. I just found out who the baby's father is. Naughty Jack wannabee. He's been pretty busy outside of work, apparently. Kim is of course, devastated and shocked speechless, for the umpteenth time in this season. She is starting to get on my nerves, because I realize she perpetually only has one expression on her face: the expression of stupefaction. I told Jason about it, but he stoutly defended her as at least better than Kate Warner. I think that's just his personal bias for young nubile girls. Haha.
Okay will post more later. Tata.
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